Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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