you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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