so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
