He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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