As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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