My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
