Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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