It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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