I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
two words: eviction party
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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