Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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