Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
40s are totally the cure
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
