yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize