Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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