I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
