It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
