just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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