I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
we're making bets on your personal life
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
