You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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