I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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