you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
