so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
