Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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