have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
