I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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