your thong is hanging out like whoa
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
