just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
