Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
