My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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