I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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