you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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