It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
