I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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