break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
