I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
