Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
