sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
