I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
