It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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