Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
