I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
