we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize