Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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