I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
