I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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