He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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