dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
