i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
