he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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