The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
