it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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