I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
