I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
