im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You were trust falling into bushes
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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