Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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