He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
