I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
