just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
